A place to be baffled, puzzled, confused, and cajoled.

Friday, May 27, 2011

All I Really Need to Know I Learned From My Local Newspaper

For instance, just today, I learned that...


Fire is important! Really important. But apparently not everyone is aware of this obscure fact, so my local newspaper expends precious and costly resources (space, paper, ink) in order to spread the word.

I felt embarrassment today when I learned that I've been misusing the word 'classic' for years. At some point during my 30 years of avoiding death, I picked up the idea that 'classic' was both a noun and an adjective used to describe something that has withstood time and change and is still relevant in the present day. Perhaps some of you thought this too...but we were wrong! 'Classic' may have meant this at some point in its history, but things have changed and now we must all adapt. It is plainly obvious in this advertisement (for a movie that's sure to win at least 12 Oscars) that...

'classic' now means something you like! Something of which you approve. It's now applicable to movies, music and visual art that came out not 30, 40, or 50 years ago, but yesterday! The more I think about this, the more sense it makes in my mind. I for one look forward to the opportunities that I will now have to use the word 'classic' in a sentence.

That's about all the sarcasm I have to spew for now. G'night, folks.