Here are some tips for enjoying the Christmas holidays. Anyone can use them, but they're designed with the terminal bachelor in mind:
Using red construction paper, cotton balls, and glue, give your pornographic pin- up gals cute little Santa hats! It depends on when you last visited the paper ladies, but glue may be optional.
Surely you have some 'aged' (moldy) fruit sitting in your fridge. Take it out, put it in a wooden bowl, and use it as a centre piece on your kitchen or coffee table. Tell your inquisitive (nosy) guests that the white fur is decorative artificial snow.
(This is a work in progress. I may or may not finish it.)
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