I don't like people who take up more than their allotted space. You ever meet these people? I'm not talking about overweight or large people, either; just people who seem to think that they have territory that they do not have. They take up three-fourths of a park bench, using their limbs to cover the greatest possible area, or they spread their possessions out in such a way so as to completely alienate anyone who dares to use a public resource.

I met such a person earlier today, sitting at a computer in the library. Here's a recap: He's speaking to a woman sitting at a computer across from him. In order to see her face--which is obscured by computer monitors--he is leaning waaaaay over to the left, practically on top of the unoccupied computer beside him. I choose this computer to settle in at.

I arrive at the desk, clearly in his peripheral vision. He doesn't move; he's still leaned over in my newfound space. I put my bag around the back of the chair. Still, not moving. So what I do is this: I sit down at the desk like he's not there, making no allowance at all for the fact that he's in my space. And, not to my surprise, we brush shoulders.

He reacts by quickly leaning waaaaay over in the other direction, and speaking about me like I can't hear him. His tone is indignant; he speaks to his conversation partner as if I rudely interrupted him. I say nothing; I'm irritated, but I know I effectively made my point. Now it's up to him to mend his wounded pride.

He never quite makes it. He's clearly trying to impress this woman, talking about his job in such a way so as to appear the most compassionate and badass. It's transparent. The woman is not swooning over him, but she does seem interested.

Then, the conversation takes a dive. This guy says, in unambiguous language, that all Jamaicans are into marijuana. The woman is clearly offended, telling him he's repeating a stereotype. He back pedals, trying to explain that he meant that Jamaicans who are Rastafarian are the heavy marijuana users. The woman's tone becomes one of annoyance and disinterest. She doesn't quite buy his explanation, likely due to the fact that she has EARS. Oh, and did I mention that this woman's mother is from Jamaica?

An edge creeps into his voice; he should be apologetic, but he instead sounds angry. He desperately tries to regain control as she disengages from the conversation. He clumsily hints about going out for coffee. She ignores his hints. He asks the woman her name, then proceeds to look her up on facebook. She makes it clear that she doesn't use facebook often, and she makes no effort to help him find her profile. He attempts to impress her with his knowledge of Jamaicans, stating that Bob Marley's father was white. She doesn't care. By the time I get up and leave, I am stifling a grin. Her tone of voice is best thought of as expressing something greater than annoyance and less than anger.

Some thoughts on this interaction:

1. While I did not enjoy watching this woman experience this, it is very satisfying to see an overconfident, inconsiderate jack-off fall flat on his face.
2. I like to think that my assertion of my personal space contributed to his failure.

Hey, I never said that I wasn't a horrible person.